Saturday, 7 February 2015


People stay in a relationship for different reasons and we all fall in love at least once in our life time. These are both popular sayings but some things in life shouldn't be given up or sacrificed because of your love for your partner, he or she got attracted to you probably seeing you do one of these things.
  1.     Making decisions for yourself: The degree at which you show independence drops when you get into a relationship but  this doesn't warrant you losing your dignity and always seeking for approval each time you need to get something done. Although compromise is a progressive factor in a relationship, but don’t get all wrapped up into it, you could be losing some self-esteem there.
  2.     Your friends and family: Friends and family are what get you going when all the chips are down in a relationship. Don’t lose a friend while in a relationship or rather because of a relationship, see a relationship as a phase that could either come and stay or pass but family as a tool you need to either work out that relationship or lose it. Choosing the right friends matter anyway.
  3.     Your personal ambitions: Personally I think what anyone wants to be or achieve shouldn't be compromised in a  relationship, if your partner can’t take or stomach the thought that you are ambitious, zealous or full of zest towards a particular project or accomplishment then you should be grateful he or she isn't hiding it from you. You know what to do my dear, run! Partners should rather support, nurture and grow each other’s dreams till they become real events that they both reminisce and talk about.
  4.     Your self-respect: My level of self-esteem is quite different from my partners’, so the degree of jokes I render or things I say when I’m angry would be quite different from how he/she relates with me in similar aspects. When you cross the line or limit of your partner then you make them lose their self-esteem and treat them with no self-respect, maybe because you felt she or he said something to you in a particular way or treated you in some kind of way but of course it didn't move or get you upset and you felt like serving them back the same dose of their medicine. I think for the fact that you can take the heat doesn't mean you should dose out same proportion to your partner. Equality doesn't make out for justice.
  5.     How you dress: Getting told how to dress every time is somewhat demeaning and isn't acceptable. There would be times when your partner wants you to dress in a particular way to make him or her feel elated but hearing your partner nag about how you dress or stipulating what to be worn is a road you don’t want to travel.
  6.     Financial independence: Like a popular saying better two heads than one, better one head than a hundred. Combining resources with your partner is one way to make a swift head start in life but when this puts you in a disadvantage where you’d have to rely on your partner for any or little financial activity then you should have a rethink. Some partners could even squander such joint effort and make you start all over. The best alternative would be graduality and being stepwise.
  7.     Your beliefs and right to an opinion: If you believe in something, you stand for it. Don’t let your partner boss you into a corner for having a thought of your own, different from his or hers. Let your opinion be heard then you can later reach for a compromise when your partner’s opinion is the better alternative. In aspects like whom to vote or what religion to practice are often areas where we seek self-actualization and can’t afford to let anyone jeopardize that for us. Most times a mutual interest should be sought after before indulging in a relationship.
  8.     Your happiness: Being happy most of the time can actually aid good health and boost life expectancy, researchers say. When you go into a relationship for reasons not other than convenience or other peoples opinion then you’re set on a gloom and doom pedestal. Your happiness in a relationship matters to no one but you and you should do everything to ensure that. No one is going to do that for you.
  9.      Spending time alone: Like a popular saying, distance promotes close friendship. There should be times in your life when you need to give issues a thought and spend time alone with yourself making self-discovery. Go do what you've always wanted to try or indulge in that hobby or activity you've always wanted to, you’d be surprised I told you so makes you and your partner respect and long for each other the more.
  10.     Being who you are: This is coming last because all other points discussed are all a subtext of this main point. Everything you do or way you act is just a piece of who you really are inside and by flipping this features could send signals of distrust to your partner and a lack of confidence in who you really are.

Good luck and stay healthy in your respective relationships.